Tuesday, 12 April 2016

How Talking is Good for You | Update on Therapy

Today is therapy day and the lead up to the appointment leaves me racked with nerves. Sleep the night before my session is a myth, I toss and turn like the plastic flying fish you win in a cracker at Christmas. It's not because I don't like therapy, don't get me wrong, my sessions are informative and helpful in aiding my recovery, it is the getting there that makes me tense up slightly.  

Once I'm in the building, I'm okay, my nerves settle and I feel slightly relived at the fact I can tell my therapist everything, without fearing judgement. Although, the building could be brighter and a little more inviting - recovery isn't sunshine and rainbows but it would be nice to feel like the walls around me aren't block white and closing in on me. 

In movies mental illness and therapy are portrayed in different lights. A few movies that include the protagonist receiving professional help are Perks of Being a Wallflower, Girl, Interrupted and It's Kind of a Funny Story. 

FYI all wonderfully written books too! (Bonus!)

It seems enjoyable and a lovely place to be. Reality is, the waiting room is tedious. Everyone walking in knows why you are here, or it's pretty obvious that you are suffering with some form of mental illness and you require someone else's help. Remember, we are all in the same boat.

Not that help is a bad thing but sometimes, anxiety affects me to the point where I feel like exploding when someone looks at me in that waiting room. 

However, talking to someone provides a sense of relief. All the comes out of my mouth, all my thoughts and emotions stay in the walls of the room, even if the room is unbearable and makes me more nervous, with its emptiness and unwelcoming atmosphere. 

Therapy makes me talk. It's easier to talk to somebody about how you are feeling when you don't know them personally, when I don't know my therapist's back story or any information about him. The only information I have is his name. There's nothing connecting us emotionally or physically, his job is to listen to me and write excessive notes about my emotions and behaviours.

Which, BOY, he had a lot of note down this session. My mind has been racing with thoughts for weeks because I missed a session because I didn't feel up to, so it had been a while and everything had been building up. But it's good, so good to talk. You build up a trust with your therapist, they might not have experienced anything you have themselves but they are there to give advice, help you find new coping techniques and just god-damn listen to you. 

Sometimes all someone needs is someone to talk to.

I leave the building feeling lighter, all my worries are gone, even just for a short while. It is amazing how much simply sitting in a room talking about my feelings releases every inch of tension in my body. To use a cliche, as light as a feather is what I would use to describe the feeling. 

All in all, therapy was successful; my next session is booked. 

Instead of being plain Jane and always sticking with simple soya cappuccinos, I opted for a roasted almond cappuccino from Costa which was delicious. I'm not normally a fan of flavoured coffee and sweet tastes but this has changed my life, and made therapy pleasant. 



The day finished with lunch from Pret, new Topshop jeans (Topshop's Jamie jeans are the best fitting jeans on the high street in my opinion, stretchy and make my booty look peachy) and a coral orange matte Barry M lipstick. Feeling fab U L O U S. 

I hope you enjoy my words and brain ramblings. I'm heading back to revision now...

What are your thoughts on therapy? Do you have any experiences? I would LOVE to feel some comfort in not being the only one.